A person God has brought so far..

Clean Me Up

2011-08-25T14:53:00.002+08:00

Father, clean me up. Give me success in the things I do that I may glorify You. Use me to win this world for You. Give me a pure heart. Add to me that my heart may not be sick. Most of all, give me strength. That I may live this life for you. My life, my mouth, my storehouse.

Alone

2011-08-25T14:28:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, the road upwards is lonely. To reach God at the top of the mountain, its required that one put people and habits away. It means to rest alone in silence. I will do it because God is the only one I need to be at peace with.

Peeling the Flesh off our Lives

2011-05-22T12:53:00.008+08:00

Cleansing our lives is the only way to walk with God. Jesus has died and lived again for our cleansing. Cleansing! The only way to have a vessel ready to receive anointing. The substance from heaven to live the impossible. The substance of transport of life from a believer to a non believer, our families and to another believer.The only way our words can have power and words are building blocks of our lives. No great exploit in the kingdom ever started without believers talking to each other and God. Cleanse! how shall a young man cleanse his ways?

He decides to turn to God's word every time. Though he may fall in the darkness, he turns around to walk into the light, confident that God Himself will accept him and that his mercies are new every morning. Take an active step to humble ourselves. Believe in God's mercy and his unconditional love for us. He takes away our guilt and place in us the anticipation of heaven descending into our lives on earth. His faith is built up in God. He does not wallow in his own sins and its sorrow for fear of his inadequacy to approach God. Eventually, the godliness in his spirit grows and the evil rots. He lives the life God intends for him to live. For His Kingdom and for His people. To plant and to build. To pull down the strongholds of the enemy. To withstand the heat of battle. To have absolute loyalty to Him. To build the people of God. To water himself in His presence and love Him with his heart and his soul. To cleave his spirit to His, to ask and receive His forgiveness, to depend on Him with the soul. The young man chooses to fall in love in God over and over again. Life overflows of the young man and his life falls into the death of the dead and they taste of life. Words, actions and a life of life.

Manna from Heaven.

2011-05-21T01:18:00.001+08:00

Text from Exodus 16:16 - 21

v16 "This is the thing which the LORD has commanded: 'Let every man gather it according to each one's need, one omer for each person, according to the number of persons; let every man take for those who are in his tent.' "

The word of God is true life. It decides how the world responds to us. He who has the word of God in him has true life. He shuns the works of the flesh. He receives a sweet soul. He has no fear. He knows his true source is God the Father Himself. He does not fear that man will hate him, treat him unfairly, leave him or ridicule him. His path is kept straight by the word of God.

By sweetening his soul, he draws the blessings of man and God to his being. He is secure in the protection of the LORD. His spirit is made soft and slippery, the dirt and bad things of this world will slide off his spirit. He is a magnet to the wonderful things of this earth. He is a open receiver of that Heaven has prepared for him.

The Scripture says each man needs to gather his manna for himself and his family. God is life. We were born separated from God and inherited death from Adam's legacy. Our soul tends towards the works of sin. Our spirit born empty. Man swims upstream each day to life. He makes the conscious decision to reach out to God. The Father promised not to disappoint. He who seeks Him finds Him.

Then the children of Israel did so and gathered, some more, some less.

Each child of God receives his personal share of Heaven. Yet each child bears his own responsibility to seek Life for himself. He swims upstream or his soul will be swept downstream to the Pit.

So when they measured it by omers, he who gathered much had nothing left over, and he who gathered little had no lack. Every man had gathered according to each one's need.

And Moses said, "Let no one leave any of it till morning."

Notwithstanding they did not heed Moses. But some of them left part of it until morning, and it bred worms and stank. And Moses was angry with them.

So they gathered it every morning, every man according to his need. And when the sun became hot, it melted.

Hello World

2011-04-15T15:33:00.002+08:00

I think nobody reads this anymore. Its great for a pretty private person like me. I can finally write all that is in my heart. I want to pen down the thoughts for myself right here in my cyberspace.

Letting go and patience is a major lesson in life. It could literally mean life and death, profit and loss. A real man waits. This is not about passive waiting. If its an issue we can control, such as eradicating a sin in our lives or kicking an addiction, we can be decisive and quick to be brutal to ourselves. If it is an issue about others, faults we see in our close ones, we need to wait when all that could be done in a reasonable manner has been done.

Lose your life and you will find it. Hold on to it and it will slip through your hands like sand.

Athlete

2009-02-16T17:01:00.002+08:00

An athlete is someone training to win a competition, to be the one above all others.

He/she eats well, sleeps well, trains hard and correctly.
Focuses well and does not allow energy, time and finances to be diverted otherwise.
Keeps oneself emotionally, physically healthy.
Nurses one's thoughts to be sharp in judgment, removing the mind from the subjection of minor distractions.
Has the ability to constantly motivate oneself.
He/she lives as one plans to and not want to.
The vision of a win is constantly on the mind and heart.

If he/she plays in a team, then he/she needs to be a teamplayer, has high emotional quotient and is able to recognise and respond correctly to the emotions of others.

An athlete conditions oneself such that the prize is won.
"...run the race in a way that he may WIN the prize.."

淡水河口的夕阳

2009-01-16T01:21:00.002+08:00

无意之间听见了陈绮贞的那首《九份的咖啡店》，好有感觉的一首歌。
让我想念起淡水河口的夕阳。。。好想去台湾，好想一个人到那里走一走。

多好的一间事啊！哈哈。。华文真是不好打。。就写到这里吧！

Exams are over.

2008-11-26T18:17:00.003+08:00

I always thought it will be great when exams are over.
Thing is when exams are over, life is never gg to slow down.
Not for one second... actually exam life is slow..
The rest of life is much more unpredictable.
True?

Random Ranting

2008-11-06T16:13:00.008+08:00

I see visions so mighty
my heart doubts.
so yearning my spirit
my heart sinks.
In fear it sank.
and time passed,
my spirit shall ask,
"where life could be
should one fear not
what lies ahead.
where my heart loves
in his fullness
and the mouth would speak
what I feel
I will tremble
yet I would have
a fearless heart,
and a mighty soul.
Heaven knows
how high the heights
cowards could climb
if he fears not.

I just suddenly thought this to myself,... when was the last timeI really had fun.
And I realised that it was a long time ago. A long long time ago.. so sad..

Having Faith

2008-10-24T00:20:00.002+08:00

Having in faith and believing in people is very important.
People who do not believe in themselves have a hard time believing in other people.

Judgment is important.. right judgment is very important.
It is the basis of decisions.

The things we decide upon is very important.
It steers where we are going and e things we speak.

When to do and when not to.
People are mirrors..

Joy

2008-10-16T11:07:00.002+08:00

In the process of achieving the goals we set for ourselves, we need to make sacrifices.
For example, if I want to be thinner, I cannot eat supper.

Sacrifices are tough. And some of those sacrifices are not as simple as supper.
One of the more difficult ones would be to make right the relationships in our lives.

The word of God says that it is longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me.
Sounds great but it means dying over and over again to the flesh.

Just when you thought you have given it all up, growing up requires you give up another of your dearly held beliefs or treasure.

God digs deeper into people. There is no way to survive it without praying. The natural tendency is to walk away from pain.

But we must believe God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. That He is a giver and not a taker.

Then take joy in life and in Him. Only then we can win the prize, that is to reign with Him into eternity.

Once again... this is a difficult to read post.
so.. lol. sorry ah..

Problems

2008-10-14T13:38:00.003+08:00

I believe that 80% of the time, a problem is not solved not because we do not have the solution.
80% of the time, we do not solve a problem because we feel that its too big.

Like a friend whom we have not contacted for a long time because of a misunderstanding.

A criticism which came because of a mistake we make.

plus many others.. exams, stress, shame.... even low self esteem, a situation that went out of control.. the main problem is identifying the problem itself.

If you identify it then actually its no problem...

Actually most of the problems we face are as big as we make them out to be.
And usually, the bigger u think the problem is, the more time u take to resolve it.

I learn this by experience, that seriously there are 8 solvable problems out of every 10 we face, even with people.

Its a matter of perspective and faith and of course some brains.

BUT no matter, everything also can one...

yea... Rememeber the stone from the sling that hit the forehead? He did it cos he made it sound so easy to himself and he refuse to listen to losers. Amen. To hell with losers...

Destiny

2008-10-12T23:22:00.002+08:00

Sometimes man can be so blind.
God has given into our hands the powerful weapons of prayer and faith and we look to other means.

The Kingdom He has placed into our hands.
His people, the lives of young lives given into our hands and we look elsewhere.

He said," Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and all its Righteousness and all these things shall be added to us"

And I look at all these things.
The Kingdom of Heaven is given into my hands.
The lives that will shake this world and the heavens itself and I despair.

I look upon God and He is eagerly waiting to place a piece of His Kingdom into my hands and I look elsewhere.

I receive tt piece of Heaven and I eagerly wait upon those cities and glory of which I am heir to.
I am a King no less in Christ Jesus and I look elsewhere.

And I found fear, doubt and failure when victory and glory is waiting.
It is mine and He wants to give it to me and therefore I will grab it.

With lust I will chase after the Kingdom and shake the heavenlies.
I will hold my sword alongside the Almighty and tear down walls.
May those who choose to follow follow and those who choose to stay behind stay behind.

As for me and even if it is me alone push forward and lay hold of the glory that was reserved for me and me alone even if it is me alone.

I will not only cast the vision but I will chase that vision down.
When I encounter the enemy, I will cut him down.
I will gaze upon his face and smile.

Convictions of our everyday lives

2008-10-12T21:23:00.002+08:00

This is gg to be a very theological argument. without the verses yet because including the verses will cause this entry to be even more systematic and therefore boring.

The main idea is the main cause of depression and distress is the inconsistencies between the desires of God and our own.

In our lives, there needs to be a consistent set of values for Christian living.
I am talking about the everyday life which we lead.

Not having a set of consistent values will force us into situational ethics.
When we are in this position, we undermine our own spiritual lives.

Some prophets in the Bible have very clear ideas of God's purpose in the long corridor of Time, but have failed in their personal living because they have faced strong circumstances. I am not criticising them but all I am saying that humans have a tendency towards situational ethics or rather situational values.

We have to remember the prophets faced dangers who are threatening to claim their lives.

Situational values lead to despair and hopelessness in life. e.g. Jonah, Elijah, even Jeremiah.
Consistent values ensures the source of those values is God Himself and that He is with us in every situation we are in.

That means we will not get the things we want. The consistent values of God will steer our lives towards His plans and His desires for us.

The challenge would be to believe that that which He wants and we do not want is better than all that we want.

Its not easy. The human flesh is a great prison.
To be a leader in today's world, we need to be experts in everyday issues for today.
We need to hold the conviction, live the conviction and preach the conviction.
We are the source of strength for those putting in effort to live God's ways.
The Word of God is the fuel and we are the employees of the Shell Petrol Station.

After all that we have said, the annals of history belong to overcomers. Self Pity kills.

Again some argue that doing God's will will ensure that you will experience the anointing and the joy and that it will be the most natural thing to do.

If then why the many people who choose to deviate from the perfect will of God when they know perfectly the will of God in their hearts?

The things God wants might not be the things we want. We pray and we know that God will turn our hearts as He has turned mine many times.

He showed me a vision and it is a far off dream to me now... it will take me many years but I am glad He showed me... now I know I will not die but I will fulfill that... He showed me way beyond I can think or imagine and I can even believe it.

It is something that I will not believe 2 months ago.
But I can now.
I see it... it is real in my belly.
and from the belly flows.....

ok fine I know u dun understand what I am talking about.
I will add in the verses and the links between the ideas when I have the time.
I just needed to quickly type it out and keep it.

I think this can become a sermon IF i simplify it by about 200%.

Life

2008-10-08T20:36:00.001+08:00

We have control over how we choose to live our life.
When we realise that much of what is happening to us is what we did to ourselves.. its a little bit easier..
Cos you know that whatever needs to be done is upon us too.

Social Anxiety

2008-10-07T15:40:00.003+08:00

I just read this from a exhibition of the psychology society in NTU.
I din noe about this... think I need a bit of psychology knowledge if I want to do counselling.

Very dangerous Illness being described here:
Social Anxiety

People who have social anxiety tend to:
1. Think very lowly of themselves
2. Magnify mistakes
3. Feel that other people are constantly evaluating them

Bad things that can happen:
A. Avoidance of People
B. Low Self-Esteem
C. Depression
D. Substance Abuse (could be food abuse or even k-box abuse)
E. Academic & Occupational Difficulties
F. Interpersonal Difficulties

The last one is the most disastrous... no help can come to the person.
The 3 Symptoms are very common in varying degrees in all humans.
But the result is a full whammy, perfect recipe for disaster.

And guess what the remedy for this condition is...
The professional term is Exposure.
Which means what it means... Open up oneself to all the situations that caused the problems in the first place.

Which means there is no running it... You just gotta face it, confront it, challenge it and kill it.
If not, it will come back for your soul again and again until u die....

Blog

2008-10-07T01:33:00.000+08:00

Cannot believe still got people read my blog when its so dead... haha..

piangz

2008-10-06T14:31:00.001+08:00

I am gg crazy today.. need to go gym and sweat abit liao..

Read the Bible but today nothing lei.. so weird sia..

There are things I cannot figure out..

2008-10-06T14:24:00.001+08:00

There are lots of things I cannot figure out..
I have been told I got low self awareness..
maybe...

SHI FEN JIALAT...

2008-10-06T14:17:00.002+08:00

Tell u all ah... the worst thing I can imagine is life being totally routine.
And I cannot tahan routine life...

NOT because its boring. (I am generally uninteresting)

BUT because it means things are staying the same way they were.

AND that is SHI FEN JIALAT....

Sisters

2008-10-06T14:09:00.002+08:00

I just found out that I mix around with sisters and almost no brothers at all nowadays in church that is...

CG.. Meng, Rach, Qin.
CCH.. Esther, Tracy, Susan, Yuncui, Grace..

Maybe a few brothers.. Delai, Kenneth, Nicholas, thats about it?
jialat.. will I become Ku Niang anot?

Think a bit liao lo... jialat.

Giving up and Quitting

2008-10-06T13:59:00.002+08:00

When I see people quit, it is scary..
They just give up.. and it all seems so natural.
Its tough, its not worth it, its not gg to happen anyway. Its dumb.

All the things they hold dear in their lives... even if it takes some time, why can't people work things out?

We just dun get all the things we want all the time. BUT if the things are the right things.. then why give them up?

nothing starts out perfect, nothing goes perfect and nothing ends perfect for that matter.

I dun know if you call that an interesting part of life or sorrows of life.

But the point is I need strength to see things through.
Its tough. Anything worth getting in this life is tough.

I want to dwell in the house of God forever.
I want to be able to take care of other people.
I want to other people's pillar of strength.
I want to be a constant blessing to other people.
I want to be a CGL.
I want to be....

IIIII
ok.. so I got to work things out.
Bo pian... can't afford to leave things the way they are.

Being Emo and all.. Being Spiritual and all..

2008-10-06T13:30:00.002+08:00

OK I am not supposed to be blogging now.

Was talking about emo people and all a few days ago.
I was thinking there is actually no one who gets along well with another person easily all the time.

There will be conflicts, times when the person goes completely bonkers and stuff.
Love is not easy to come by.. not jus the feeling.. the actions alongside it..

Tough tough tough if we rest on our flesh..

People are just people.

Breathing heaven's air is needed.

Keeping on with a decision is hard without trust and love in God, in the people around you.
We never know where life takes us.. and a lifetime is long time to waste..

Takes lots of effort to keeping life and people running.. If someone ever put up an ad for the post of God.. count me out.. its gg to kill.

Blessers and People waiting to be blessed.

2008-10-02T23:07:00.003+08:00

I find people who are blessers the happiest people in the world.
It is more blessed to give than to receive.

People who are waiting for good things to come by their lives are often the most miserable people in the world.

So I seek to make other people's life easier.
I will bless people who will let me and make their day with the things which I do!

If they do not wished to be blessed by me, i will go find someone else to bless.
Lack of self-confidence is selfishness, so is lack of skills.. they are all products of selfishness.

I seek to give the people I know the best I have.
The best of myself.
To the best ground...
Yup so if I am destroying someone's life I will stop whatever I am doing.
That includes my own.

so help me God..

Help needed to renew the blogskin.

2008-10-02T02:54:00.002+08:00

Ok I admit, I am a dinosaur from Jurassic Age.
I went to a blogskin website, downloaded the code and is unable to change my blogskin.
So..... Yuan Xing needs help.. any form of help to get a new blogskin!

Thank you.

I just changed my clock on the blog so now the time is Singapore Time now..
Never took the effort to check things out.
So I realised all the past entries are 16 hours behind time.
lol.

October

2008-10-01T02:20:00.000+08:00

Its october, gotta hit the books real hard tis time... yesh.

Schools of Thought in Evangelism

2008-09-20T13:14:00.000+08:00

Ok there are 2 schools of thought.
From the way I see it.

1st School of Thought

We bring a friend to church by showing lots of care and concern. Focus on the friend and love him or her with all we've got. Lots of sacrifices.

The objective is to build a long lasting relationship. In the process, very tough and heart wrenching and lots of work.

And there is no guarantees that the friend will be planted in the house of God.

2nd School of Thought

We share the gospel with as many people as possible. In a way, it means taking as many shots as possible.

We hone our ability and anointing to share the gospel such that our sharing is effective. It leads the people to seek Jesus and pray the sinner's prayer.

The time taken is short and how far the process goes depends on how receptive the person is. This mostly ensures we reach the most receptive people first.

Its been shown the 2nd method works far better.
Basically a combination of both.

Some thoughts.
Do comment and give some opinions.
Especially those who haven been there done that and brought in souls for Jesus before.

Never go down

2008-09-13T00:31:00.000+08:00

Some smart guy once said to Napoleon, "Fame is temporary."
To that statement, Napoleon answered, " Fame IS temporary, but obscurity(basically the direct opposite of fame) is ETERNAL."

Well I agree COMPLETELY with Napoleon.
I don't want to live a quiet life and die in silence.

I WILL NOT GO DOWN IN SILENCE!!

A Song..

2008-09-10T09:40:00.000+08:00

You are my Shepherd.
There's nothing I want.
I rest in green pastures.
My soul is restored.
My path, it is righteous.
You are my guide.
The valley of shadows will cause me to hide.

You are always there for me.
You are the Shepherd of my heart and soul.
There for me.
You are the Lord of all I am.
Your unfailing love and mercy covers me.
Your unfailing love and mercy covers me.

I have a table that You have prepared.
Its cup overfowing,
Oil's on my head.
Your goodness and mercy, all of my days.
In Your house I stay.

You are always there for me.
You are the Shepherd of my heart and soul.
There for me.
You are the Lord of all I am.
Your unfailing love and mercy covers me.
Your unfailing love and mercy covers me.

You are my Shepherd and You walk with me.
You are my whole life and You give all I need.
You are the peace that makes me cose? and feel so free.
Your unfailing love and mercy covers me.

You are my Restorer and You heal my soul.
You make me able to stand right and whole.
You are my constant companion and, no matter where I go.
You put this heart inside me.
You put this heart inside me.

This heart..x4
So free...........x6

-----Prayerworks.

You are the consuming passion of my life.
You devour my entire life and You fill my thoughts.
My heart it pounds in fear of You.
Should You withhold, I will not breathe.
You give me all I need.
Whom shall I ask but You?
Where can I turn to but You?

But the good things You have not withheld from me.
Your blessings and approval You have not withheld from me.
Your chastening and rebuke You have not withheld from me.
that I might know that I am a son in Your house and not an outsider.

that I might know You and the power of Your resurrection and the fellowship of Your sufferings, being conformed to Your death. --- Phil 3:10

O Hades, where is your sting?

11 Sept 2008

2008-09-10T00:28:00.000+08:00

Alright, Qin, its true.. I had fallen into the trap of not blogging again.

My desktop is coming in finally.
2.0 GHz duo core, 2 Gb RAM, DVD Burner and 320Gb of harddisk...
The harddisk is most needed.. In today's post modern society, my laptop's 67Gb is filling up, fast!

So I am happy my new desktop is coming!!

Work intensity is building up in all my subjects. My engineering graphics lecturer is getting a kick out of watching us struggle.. ahha.. but he is good la no doubt.. Prof Lim. He is actually quite cute.

Ok.
There are other stuff happening also.. jus blogged to keep this blog alive. Back to tutorials nw!
oh yea can someone give me some guidance to changing my blogskin? hmmm i a bit buay tahan my blog alr... haha..

Resurrection

2008-08-28T00:40:00.000+08:00

My blog has been dead for a long while.
Due to massive workloads...

As Bro Bobby has described, ...9 theological book reviews, 10 mock cgs and 5 preaching tests....

So today is the resurrection.. 12.42 am on thursday morning.
Wonderful day.

Hahaha.. lets continue another day. I got things to write about but probably not now.
Now I work...

Choose to Build, Not to Destroy

2008-06-30T00:56:00.000+08:00

In the Bible, there are a few mentions of special relationships between the leader and his armourbearer.

One of the most special relationships is the one between Jonathan and David.
The Word of God tells us that their souls were knitted together.

When Samuel anointed David to be King, David did not immediately receive the kingdom.
David is not immediately ready. The vision is not complete. His faith, the substance of his reality to be, is not complete. If his vision were a building, it probably lacked a few pillars or a few bricks here and there.

Jonathan was one of the man sent to David to put in a few pillars.
Jonathan loved David.

Friends, when our leaders cast a vision before us, do we kill the vision with doubt, unbelief and quiet criticism? Or do we cast in our lot with him and build the vision with him?

The building is not complete, choose to put in the pillar, choose to strengthen the vision of the leader.

I believe and I choose to cast in my lot with my leader.

Preaching Tests

2008-06-28T14:18:00.000+08:00

It was a rare opportunity and privilege to preach.
Homiletics is definitely one of the highlights of my time in SOT.

Thank you to Mabelline for recording 10mins of my preaching.
Mabelline, in my opinion, is one of the best preachers. I have a lot to learn from her.
One of the coolest and cutting edges of Team 18.

Thank you to Kin Sung for the breakfast nasi lemaks and bee hoons. My stomach is filled before the tests every single day because of his diligent trips to the coffeeshop.

I feel loved.. haha..

I wanna be where You are..

2008-05-12T22:10:00.000+08:00

I just wanna be where You are.
I hope I will have this heart forever, no matter what happens.
One thing I ask, that I may dwell in Your house forever....

Killing Dragons and Goliaths

2008-04-10T00:45:00.000+08:00

Friends.. the chinese have a proverb, catch dragon must go for the head FIRST.
Qin2 Long2 Xian1 Qin2 Shou3

Even David killed the giant by hitting the forehead.

That requires courage, accuracy and faith.. Go for the head!!

Happenings

2008-04-05T01:38:00.000+08:00

Plans to lose weight/Plans to strike it rich/Plans to get attached/Plans for SOT/Plans to pull up GPA....

Correct... especially the last 2...

Ok its been a long time since I posted. I have things I better post before I forget.

Number 1.
15 Important Things in a Water Baptism Service

1. Call the baptism candidate to make sure he or she has all they need 2 days before
2. Make sure present is suitable
3. Make sure apple, salt and candle appear
4. Appoint a super zai photographer and photographer must reach before baptism candidate
5. Appoint one PA for baptism candidate for towel, misc
6. Find and chope a good place to gather after baptism
7. Photographer must stand at strategic position for strategic photos
8. Take many group photographs and videos
9. Remember to pray for baptism candidate
10. Baptism Card must have a lot of messages
11. Photographs must be posted and sent to baptism candidate
12. Appoint Security Guard for bags.
13. Gather Quickly
14. Build up a great atmosphere
15. Know the supporters who will be there.

Received a huge love offering today. Thank God.
And I owe a big thank you to all the "Shareholders"
Super Touched and Super Excited for SOT.
Faith fills my heart..

Plan As and Plan Bs

2008-03-26T02:16:00.000+08:00

Glory

2008-03-19T00:01:00.000+08:00

People think that we will nv make it.
We will never reach but I cannot explain why there is a feeling of faith in me.

It is no longer about me but He who is in me.
That feeling of substance and vision is nagging my very soul..
It simply will nt leave.

There may come a day when we may fail and wonder what happened, but it is not today.
There may come a day when all the naysayers got it right and say, 'see, see, tt bunch of losers', but it is not today.
There may come a day when we have to part from unity and walk our seperate ways, but it is not today.
There may come a day when we make a fiasco of our lives and that we know its all over but it is not today.

Today I see the vision of glory, substance and success... Today I feel like a winner inside of me.
It is not psychology... I am a winner because God is one and today He stirs in me that spirit of victory...

There will come a day when the enemies will shatter our helmets and splinter our swords and shield BUT it is not today.

Today we will take the field.. with raw faith and giving all what little we have...
So God help us.

You say let the weak say they are strong.
Today our weakness is made perfect in You.

Fame is temporary, Obscurity is forever..- Napoleon Bonaparte
How apt...

I don't know what holds tomorrow but Glory and Fame is for today.
History is yesterday but History making is today..

Details determine Destiny..

2008-03-17T01:12:00.001+08:00

This is absolutely true...
I can think of at least 6-7 people in one second whose life was determined by details.

or even events in my life.

Worship

2008-03-12T01:33:00.000+08:00

I am going to go in without fear...

Hebrews 11:6 (New King James Version)

6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

I don't know what to say..

A Sweet Soul

2008-03-11T00:37:00.000+08:00

Some pretty good verses... took away about a 1000 words.

1. Leviticus 10:3

This is what the LORD spoke, saying:
‘By those who come near Me
I must be regarded as holy;
And before all the people
I must be glorified.’”

2. James 3:16-17

16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy

Very Sad...

2008-03-10T14:19:00.000+08:00

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.....!!!!!!!

1. Starting Song Right
2. Clapping at 2-4
3. Rest the guitarist
4. Find suitable VC to use
5. Sing with dan tian
6. Many many other things

I have actually resorted to watching Bro Poh in school.
No more ppfilm, no more youtube, no more tudou
Jus Bro Poh.

Bro Poh is gg to dominate my WMP.
Desperate situations call for desperate measures.

No more 933 No more Class 95... and definitely no Jay Chou...

At the end of the day, i just wanna praise God and lead good praise.
So God help me...

Thai Express

2008-03-03T22:07:00.000+08:00

I went to Holland Village on foot from Buona Vista in a drizzle on Sunday Afternoon... zzzzz....

Dun know which good friend tell me its very near (though I do need to thank the friend for many favours) and the map was so deceiving..

By the time I reached, I needed a coffee so I wun faint of excitement..

The DJ on 933 was just talking about dreams...

I dream a lot...

I am always dreaming about myself in many places.

Sometimes the dreams are so good because it was what I wanted so much that I would cry when I woke up and find out that it was not reality because it was always so real in my dreams. Those were big dreams.. I was all over the world. I was in front of a multitude...

Sometimes the dreams are so bad because my deepest fears materialised in the dreams and I would wake up in cold sweat all over..

I always wanted to be in the army.. so when I went to NS, I was excited I am going to be away from home which at that time was not much of a home anyway..

I prayed I would end up in the infantry and I was there.

I prayed I would not be doing just what everyone was doing and I rode the bike.

I prayed I would be strong all my NS life and I was.

So I was actually very blessed in army and I went to taiwan twice and thailand once.

If I could go for more exercises, I would..

I got injured in a huge race in my division. But I completed the race and I was not the last. I overtook many who were without injuries. I was determined to win that race. I scored 90% for the shoot in the middle of that race using a rifle which was not zeroed to my eye.

I proved what the adverts said, that SAR 21 needed no zeroing so the rifle is not that bad after all. Our team came in 7th, not fantastic but that was a victory. Everyone came through it in great spirits.

Some people around me thought the race was a huge crap. Some superficially encouraged me but they thought nothing of it. I shared my victory with the people in church and they congratulate me (with a what-happened? look) but I knew they had no inkling of what the victory was for me. I ran it with God. The division commander is the smartest guy that ever commanded the division. Infact even the regulars in the army din know what it was for.. they jus knew that it was a huge event... The huge race was to build up combat fitness across the units in the division much like the OPMs we have in church. Even those who have been in the army would spit at that and say that is huge crap but combat fitness has saved many lives and made armies won victories jus like OPMs.

Some in the army, on the other hand, took it too seriously. The Battalion CO gave out medals and formed dream teams.. I mean there was no glory in the race. It was all in the name of great fun. He treated it like a huge battle.. haha... I just wanted to run. Dun ask me what I have learnt or gained out of it, I did not.. I just wanted to run.. I was so happy then. The world was in my hands. All I did was all I ever wanted. I was always happy. I was on top of the world.

I would give everything up just to run that race again.. it was the best thing that happened to me.

Why can't things be just for fun? Why must it be for a purpose? Why must it be something important? Why must I learn something out of everything? Why would the army be wasting our time? I joined the mainstream flow and criticise the army with everyone else. but it was never what my heart meant... I long to be in the fields of Thailand and the hills in Taiwan than anywhere else.

Hard to believe right? but I have been dreaming about being in the army since I was a kid. I was who I am and was happy back then.

I went to the infantry because I knew that was where the real army was. I was so excited. But there was a few disppointments, infantry didn't turn out to be as exciting as I thought it would be... No one took the training seriously.

No one thought the infantry was important. Everyone thought it was the Airforce or the big guns in the Artillery or the big vehicles in the Armour Battalion... but all history has shown Infantry to be the single most important Arm in any army.

So many battles were decided by the quality of the infantry that I cannot believe how little infantry was thought of in the SAF. The Army will pay for this in blood if we ever went to war. You put the least educated, least trustworthy men in the most important arm and all you get is a screwed battalion.

And now some smart kids think mechanising all infantry would make it better.. lol. Another idea was to label soldiers with unit and arm tags.. lol.

I heard 10th Mono's CO was a genius. One 4-day exercise every 2 weeks and He would make sure his battalion books out on thursday on the exercise week. His battalion probably suxed at parade discipline and many other sai kangs.. but they beat the shit out of the ATEC company. They were the battalion to score a 1 against ATEC. We got a 2B..

Well its all over and I had fun...

I am actually very evil...

2008-03-03T21:55:00.000+08:00

Whenever I feel like cursing people I love and wished they were dead, I remind my soul that God is in control and that He loves all of us.

There were times when I wished God just loved ME alone and no other but its not true...
The wish is true though...

So I keep my mouth shut and wait... I know its my fault most of the time but I always wished it were somebody else's fault. Because why does it always have to be me?

I am not kind nor loving nor very holy, so the next time things start to piss me off, know that I am always pleading the blood of Jesus over my soul so that I will not blow up and eat people up..

Haha... now you know how evil I am.. wonder how many will read this... I think people who read this already know this.. so its ok..

Number 51

2008-03-03T21:27:00.000+08:00

Then you shall know that I am the LORD, when I have dealt with you for My name’s sake, not according to your wicked ways nor according to your corrupt doings, O house of Israel,” says the Lord GOD.’”

God lets His people know by experience and by life that the rise and fall of nations, churches, powers, groups and even individuals are in His control. No man holds the power nor key to raise or put down, kill or revive, give or take away except by God's hands.

Then you shall know who to seek in times of trouble, in times of distress, you shall run to the LORD your God because He shall raise you up. In the event He decides to kill, no man can escape.

Then you shall confess with your tongue, your soul and entire being that He is Lord and that nothing you can do will change that.

Then you will realise He loves you and that nothing that happened ever happened without Him.

Then when you fall you will know that no man except Him will raise you up because He has claimed your life for Himself.

Then you will know in your soul that everything is working for good in your life.
Because He has called you. Whether you realise it or not is immaterial.
He will make sure you find Him.

For if He has the power to bring empires and entire generations to their kneels, then He will know how to bring you into His embrace. Trust Him, He will not miss nor will He have one flaw in His plan.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine.

If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Philippians 3:8-11

2008-03-03T21:04:00.000+08:00

Philippians 3:8-11 (New King James Version)

8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ

9 and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith;

10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death,

11 if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Its Truly been a LONG TIME..

2008-02-21T00:21:00.000+08:00

Right.. its been some time since I updated.
My hope is, after such a long time, less people will read my blog.

Lets start off with a story.

One day, a super holy Christian named John (same name as the one on Patmos but the similarities end there) was fasting and praying. Easter was drawing near and he wanted 50 people to come to his CG.

Jesus was looking down from Heaven and saw John, His heart warmed up and He decided to award the highest ranking miracle to John. He was gg to jio John for lunch..

So Jesus came to John and said, " Yo Bro, lets go for a meal and a long chit chat!"
John said with a troubled look, "But Jesus, I am fasting. Cannot la..."

This is obviously a fabricated story. This kind of response can only be extracted from a obviously fabricated John with a brain of order "RETARDED FIRST CLASS"... It is equivalent to rejecting the girl of your dreams when she asks you out for a lunch date.. I tell you if I were John, the lunch will nv end..
I will push everything out of my schedule, who cares about the schedule anyway? I will probably throw my damn handphone away..

John missed the whole point... but he was doing all the right things..

From the other end of the Spectrum, the whole point can be missed on the other level.

Connect Group IC (aka CGI) asks, " hey you wanna come for OPM on friday?"
Member replies, "Nope.."
CGI ( super stunned) asked, "but why, I thought your exams are over? you got something on?"
Member replies, " Nope.. jus dun want to go.."

Win liao lor... CGI diam diam errr nothing to say.
Member triumphs.. thinking this is really effective. If it works on the CGI why not try it on the CGL?

Steady sure work one, thought the Member..

What difference is this from John in the story? Do you think on the day you stand before God, your CGL or CGI is gg to be sitting on the Great White Throne? or you think your CGL's name is spelled J-E- S-U-S? God is not man, that He should be mocked..

If you are one year old Christian, I say ok nvm... young..
If you are two year old Christian, I say ok nvm, late bloomer..
If you are three year old Christian, I say nvm, probably needs a kick in the ass..
If you are above that.. What the hell did you attend all those services and cgs for?

I watched a movie that really got me watching.. Christianity is about the relationship.
That is almost becoming a cliche.. but to draw an effective parallel, I recommend anyone who is super free to watch " The Devil wears Prada" and watch Anne Hathaway's character. It depicts a road that transforms a person inside out.

She entered into the fashion magazine industry, a complete idiot.. struggled with the new environment and angry with everything associated with it. Just like the new Christian after maybe a month, sometimes frustrated at why things are changing in life.. Some simply quit at this point.. but Anne Hathaway din.. She said to herself she is gg to beat the odds and not let the frustrations take her life away. (as they claim in the movie, you work for Miranda for a year and you can get a job in any magazine, a million girls would kill for this job). So please, to all the new converts with a new found love for God, don't quit.. (You serve God for a year and you are gg to be blown away)

So Anne got on with the program, learning the names of the various designers and their first names, putting in extra hours of work, working her ass off, keeping her mouth shut. She was putting in all she's got and it was not enough.. why? cos she was focused on getting the job done and looking fwd to waving the office goodbye.. She refused to change her fashion sense, refused to get serious with the industry she was in, refused to take on its identity and basically, refused to change...

Its true, you gotta get your heart into what you are doing..

There was a classic line in the movie when Anne mentioned that she is not interested in changing herself (upgrading her fashion sense) for the job she landed, Nigel (a senior department head in Runway magazine) said to Anne, "so I guess this is what this multi billion industry is about.. Inner Beauty..." That got me laughin.. but it got me thinking.. what am I holding back from God? What am I holding back from my loved ones? With all your mind, all your soul and all your heart...

Alright, lets get on with the program.. so eventually Anne decided to take her job seriously and ASKED Nigel for help to upgrade herself.. Point is if you want something and you don't have it, you really got to ask... just ask for it, whether you get it or not doesn't really matter. (cos most of the time, you get it anyway). Ask and it will be given..

This was the turning point in her career. If she did not decide at this point to change, she be sitting at the same desk pushing papers, buying coffee and getting Miranda's coat and bag thrown on her desk for the next ten long years (if she can even last so long in the first place) and still be dreaming about her big break.. You gotta decide to give it your all, your best shot.. cos time doesn't change a thing, only you can..

so Anne stunned the whole world with her new found interest in Chanels, Jimmy Choos, Gabbanas.. what says you.. You gotta get interested in things like Bible reading, Prayer, OPMs, Service PMs and Pst Ulf screaming China!! India!! and you realise you got 20 billion people to save.. haha..

Then she found herself getting further and further away from her old relationships. Her boyfriend begins to think that they no longer have anything in common. Her friends began to think that she sold her life to Miranda...

Well.. doesn't that sound super familiar? and Nigel contributed another amazing line here, "Let me know when your whole life goes up in smokes, it means that its time for a promotion.."

I am jus pulling a parallel here so I dun mean that you got to blow your whole life up when you become a Christian, we have diversely different values from Nigel in Runway Magazine.. for more info, please refer to Pst Tan's sermon on V.A.L.U.E.S...

But the bible does speak about the circumcision of our lives, about denying our flesh.. to becoming spiritual.

so eventually she got past the Martha in office, the snobbish girl in office who thought Anne was hopeless, and eventually go to Paris, The Heaven of the Fashion Industry, with her revered boss, Miranda.. See guys, thats what we are going for.. well I guess what I wanted to say ends here.. cos my fingers are tired and I guess you must be getting bored by now..

Well I just used word count and found this entry to be 1300 words in length and took me an hour. I hope my reports can be typed out that fast, 1300 words per hour.. steady.

I have been busy

2008-01-23T01:32:00.000+08:00

Hi Guys, I have been busy. Gg to Bangkok real soon.
Time is limited so keep your eyes fixed on the right thing, Xing!
Yea!

What I should be concerned about

2008-01-14T23:08:00.000+08:00

Recently God's been speaking to me.
He is saying the same thing to me on saturday night, sunday morning and sunday afternoon.
And tonight..

God is showing me that in the things i am gg through in my life, I am not alone.
There are other people also gg thru that and most importantly, God is still there.

God is also telling me that I am giving attention to the wrong things.
God says He got a lot for me but my bag is not big enough to carry.
So I say ok. God, I am gg to get a really big bag.

New wine for the new wineskin.

I am less concerned about my lack, my hurts.

They are painful, nevertheless. But when I look at what I am going to get into when I lift them all up to God, they no longer seem so painful.

When I saw pictures of real children picking off scraps to eat off rusting rubbish truck, I am so blessed that I can consider gg on a diet. I got a choice, to eat or not to eat.

I am less concerned about how people treat me.

They don't treat me like a prince all the time, but I am not gg to dwell on it.

I realise when I fix my eyes on something too hard, I am probably staring at the wrong thing.

I am going to fix my eyes on Jesus.

Oh anyway Kgoon, I am gg to a workshop. Many people are coming. People who are in the business development business.

haha.. I am looking forward to learning a lot!!

Starting a New Year 2008

2008-01-10T02:12:00.000+08:00

Hi Everyone. Its been some time since I blogged here.

Its 2008 and there are some new things to happen this year.

1. Academic Studies

I am looking at the 4th semester in NTU. I am nearing the halfway mark.
This is a semester where I am going to prove something to myself. I am going to set standards high, very high.

2. Spirituality

This is the 4th year ever since I was planted in CHC. This first half of the year, I am going to shed off some flesh. For the flesh is enmity towards the Spirit of God. Thus, the first half of the year, I am looking at constant fasting.

3. CG

I am going to focus. There are some things which I feel I should be leaving to others already.
I cannot be the legs and hands and mouth and everything at the same time.

4. Children Church

There are issues I have to set right with God in my ministry.

5. Blessing

This is the most blessed part of my life for this month.
One thing about me is I love to go overseas.
That is why I would even volunteer to go on a military exercise if it brings me overseas.

This year, I found a job that brings me overseas.
I just checked out the hotel I am going to stay in.
Hotel Windsor Suites, It blows my mind.

I am not a easy person to blow away.
In fact I am a person who is ready to brush off many things people find extraordinary.
However, when I saw the pictures and the area I am going to stay in....

Goodness, I am going to live like an expatriate.
At 22 years old.
I am going to gain some experience and meet real working people.
I am looking forwad to learning some of their relational skills.
Relational Skills that set some above others.

I thank God for the chance.

And my books, I better hit it hard this semester.

Most of all, I want to stay a Christian this year.
As many as are led by the Spirit, these are the sons of God.

Till next time,.... Adieu..

It probably doesn't get worse than this..

2007-12-29T10:33:00.000+08:00

4 The pangs of death surrounded me, And the floods of ungodliness made me afraid.
5 The sorrows of Sheol surrounded me; The snares of death confronted me.
6 In my distress I called upon the LORD,
And cried out to my God;
He heard my voice from His temple,
And my cry came before Him, even to His ears.

Freedom

2007-12-10T21:16:00.000+08:00

Breathe the air of freedom..
Freedom is being at ease with God.
Freedom is coming into reconciliation with God
Freedom is knowing in your spirit that u agree with God in life.
Why would anyone confront God on his/her own terms?
Life is tough enough with God around.
Without Him, U r gonna be barely breathing...

But for fear... we confront God..
But for thoughts.. we confront God..
But for unforgiveness.. we confront God..

Give it up. Faith, Miracles, Reconciliation.. Freedom.

Salvation Altar Calls

2007-11-26T06:52:00.001+08:00

u would have noticed that there are salvation altar calls every weekend. We always ask our new friends whether they want to respond to God. That is one of the most important things that could happen in anyone's life.

YET, despite the truth of God's word, some friends respond and some do not.

If you realise also, there are some Christians among us that seem to be able to move the hearts of friends more than others.

I asked God why.

I always thought inviting someone to respond to salvation altar calls should be one of the most natural and easy thing to do for a Christian yet it doesn't feel so.

Well the answer came to me as I pass by a funeral.
God asked me what is the condition of the guy in the casket?
I was thinking, "Dead?"
Then I was reminded of the scriptures where Peter faced away from the dead body he was gg to resurrect.
Death sucks away our faith. Thus Peter prayed before he confronted Death.

Non Christians are spiritually dead people. If they are spiritually alive, that will be doubly scary.
We are all like Peter. We are trying to resurrect some dead spiritual men here.

We need that faith when we ask our friends.
We ask but sometimes we do not expect anything to happen.
Nothing will happen.
Sometimes they do go down even when we had no faith.
but its not because of some non-origin miracle.

We need to go the distance in our spirits when we ask.
We wrestle against powers and principalities.
We cannot underestimate the amount of faith needed in such an encounter.
We wrestle not against FLESH and BLOOD but POWERS and PRINCIPALITIES.

There are cases where not much wrestling is needed.
The reason is because the battle was already won somewhere before the altar call.
I won this kind of battle before and truly this is the best form of the battle.
Even before u go in, u know u will win.
It takes effort but it is worth it.

There is a very important thing that happens in nature which Christians need to realise.
Its something called gestation.
People always read about Jesus' explosive 3 and a half year ministry, Peter bringing 3000 to salvation in one service etc etc. Yet the gestation for such miracles to be born is hugely long.

Jesus Son of God took 30 years. Moses took 80. Joshua took 40. Jacob a similar number of years. Every hero of faith had a long gestation period or what we would call preparation periods.

Do not expect maggi mee style miracles all the time. If you live on that, where is the substance there of?

Sustain, be continuous in the spirit. Forget about slacking. Forget about freebies from heaven.
I mean if they come i would grab them like a true Singaporean. But they are not my source of happiness nor proof of partnership with God Almighty.

I would treasure my position as a intelligent co-worker with God more than any spiritual handout and blessings. Leaders grab from God continuously to give to themselves and followers.

Friends, build works that stand the test of fire.

These Days

2007-11-15T22:48:00.000+08:00

Been very busy these few days.
Its been days in which I found many of my own weaknesses crippling myself.
But its also days which tells me where to go from here on.
So overall its good.

Haha about the previous entry.. Its jus the feeling some girls give me.

hmmm, Guys who read literature have hearts which move faster than their brains.
Ok.. its personal opinion..

Beautiful Girls read Literature..

2007-11-14T20:23:00.000+08:00

Beautiful Girls read literature.. Girls who read literature are Beautiful.
Because it seems like literature was written for them..
jus a thought, a funny thought.

3 things you should never do in your life..

2007-11-12T09:55:00.000+08:00

Number 1: Never shut down your Brains. You are as useless as the computer that you are sitting at right now.

Number 2: Never let your Guard down. You might suddenly act like the Devil is your best friend.

Number 3: Never Complain even if you are tired. You will only get more tired and end up doing number 1 and number 2. Warning: You will regret!!

“[Do Not Love the World] Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.”- 1 John 2:15-16

Remember when you wanna get a lift from someone, ALWAYS CHECK!!! CHECK WHAT?
CHECK WHO IS AT THE STEERING WHEEL!!! hahahaha....

The purpose...

2007-11-12T09:42:00.000+08:00

When we realise and remember the purpose of everything we do, we become very sure of the way we should act or speak.

Foolishness is forgetting the purpose and acting recklessly.

Forgetting our purpose in life will result in leading our lives in insanity.

If we are aware of our purpose, we remain alert to the conduct of our lives.

Over 30 000 men set off with Gideon to overcome the enemies.
Fear took away two thirds and lack of alertness took away one third.
Only 300 went in to slay the enemies.

Be ready in season and out of season.
There are billions of christians out there. There will only be a small percentage who will overcome the enemies of our age and time.
Let it be you..

Well...Continued

2007-11-10T19:34:00.000+08:00

I want to go to France.
I will need a one way ticket to Marseilles.
Then I will take a taxi to its harbour.
There will be boats.
They will bring me to this Island called Corsica.

And I will see the legionnaires.
And then I will stay with them.
And maybe tell them more about Singapore and my church.

That Look..

2007-11-10T18:53:00.000+08:00

It was that look in the eyes.
That look which brings memories away..
That look which calmed the heart and all its pains and burdens.
The world faded away in that instant.

I was no painter and i could not draw those eyes.
I had no camera and could not capture a photograph.
I was no poet i could not write a beautiful verse.
But one thing I knew.

A heart that once was dead but now alive.
so I set that look on the mould of my heart.
So it calms me down.
so that I remember why I chose the things I chose.

Yet nothing lasts forever.
maybe God
But not that look.
And I knew I may not see it again.

So it was I had to leave those eyes behind
And find that brave new world.
Because I have a dream I need to walk.
So someday by some miracle, I want to see those eyes again.

If I were you...

2007-11-09T12:49:00.001+08:00

yea... if I were you..
haha..
try to use that e next time but for now..
Let it bleed..
Let it hurt..

I love Jazz..

2007-11-09T12:01:00.000+08:00

Listening to Diana Krall now.... you make my life so glamorous... wonderful.. marvelous.. its paradise.. its what i love to see.. from now on i give my heart to you...
hahha... I can't sing... but I definitely love to listen...

so yea I love Jazz..

I have a dream

2007-10-30T22:52:00.000+08:00

I have a dream....
N i am gg to work so hard for it to come to pass.
becos I have a dream....

The dream that one day i would look back n tell myself, "WOW!!, what a wild ride that was!!!"

Abel, by faith, gave an acceptable offering.
Abraham the father of our faith believed that his descendants shall number a nation when he had no heir.
Isaac, by faith, sowed his seeds in a land of drought and reaped in the year a hundredfold return.
Jacob, by faith, wrestled with God for his undeserved spiritual blessings and from his loins, the nation of Israel, God's chosen people, was birthed forth.
Joshua, by faith, marched round Jericho, the most fortified city of Canaan, seven times and conquered it.
Caleb, by faith, said, "give me this mountain"
Joseph, by faith, held to the dream which God gave him and he became the prime minister of the richest nation of his time.

I was thinking all these guys cannot be boring guys. They could all be cool, rich , handsome, GENTLE?, yea.. I mean most people think Bible is written for boring narrow minded people to coop themselves away from e world.. but i believe it is a cool book written for cool people by a cool God... yea..

I was thinking if they blogged, what would they blogging about?

Haha.. jus a thought.. I was thinking about myself. Like why I am the way I am... then I gotta admit a few things to myself first.. Number 1, I am actually terribly shy...

I am so shy sometimes I cannot pronounce my words well, cannot bring myself to call people's names, refuse to talk about my feelings.. though i have a lot of them.. so shy my actions and words can go a bit haywire.. That was the original me.. still shy nowadays though less people see it. I am still not good at calling names... sometimes i don't answer questions or look people in the eye or don't even talk to some people... Well well there were a few friends before whom i could be totally at ease.

but all that is going to change..

Hard to believe right? but eh I am.. sometimes.. and its affecting my life all the time, the way i connect with people, esp those who are very different from me.

One more thing, I am so boring... i mean.. sometimes i bore myself.. haha..

I mean anyone would rather read 3 Jane Austen's book, one after another or even Charles Dickens or even Book of Isaiah than read this bloody blog.. haiz.. goodness.. sometimes i think i am living life in such a way that it stays super duper shitty boring..

I am 22 le... goodness 22.. I am gg to get OLD soon.. haha

To BE Continued

Progressiveness

2007-10-25T23:29:00.000+08:00

I do not know whether the word i used as the title exists or not
But one thing i have heard from God n am convinced in my heart.

Progress needs to be flowing in the blood of leaders.
Creativity needs to be flowing in the blood of leaders.
Faith needs to be flowing in the blood of leaders.
Tenacity needs to be flowing in the blood of leaders.
A burning heart for Jesus n His people needs to be flowing in the blood of people.
Most importantly, Diligence n Wisdom needs to be burning in the blood of people.

Anymore qualities u think is veri important?
Pls add to the list..

Wealth Transfer.

2007-10-24T11:31:00.000+08:00

Deuteronomy6:10-11

v10 So it shall be, when the LORD your God brings you into the land of which he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you large and beautiful cities which you did not build,

v11"houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, hewn out wells which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant-when you have eaten and are full-

The context here was God warning the people against disobedience when they have attained the stage of financial independence.

But in the warning, there was God's promise of great wealth for His people, brought about by obedience(if you read the previous 9 verses), a wealth which has been stored up by the Canaanites who dwelled the land before the Israelites.

Obedience is the key to the wealth that God had others stored up for you. Like Abraham, I believe that the ram is climbing up on the other side of the hill when i am climbing on this one.

Hope its not too boring...
Maybe can share if i have a shot at offering next time.. haha..

Hi Everyone..

2007-10-21T23:14:00.000+08:00

Well, this blog entry is my promise to my CG members.

Actually I've got lots to write about in this entry.
I can share revelations but...
Lets talk about the old W302 in this entry.

Well they were a fine bunch of people..
People like Wei Yan, Kgoon Liang, Dennis.. Strong people.

I am honored to call them friends.

I am expecting them to break through in many ways n so I am not going to slack.
I remember these people because they helped me to grow.
They help me to keep going.. Learnt a lot from each one of them.

New W302...
Very new, a lot of potential.. These people I am looking at in this new CG are going to shape tomorrow.. So I am gg to make sure I am have one hand in tomorrow.

Meng, Qin, Tammy, Ruix, Jan... fantastic...
My new CG members are also great...
Ok think i cannot say too much.. My thoughts are many though.

Today was watching the video about e schools Sun built.
They are not just schools but spiritual strongholds.
I know 2 things are being done.
1. A nation's future is being shaped.
2.The gates of hell is being stormed.

I know I want to stick around in this church. Cos where God's battering ram meets the gate of Hell, I wanna be there..

ok, back to books NOW..

My God

2007-09-26T00:52:00.000+08:00

Jesus is my God.

When the going gets tough and reasons fail to suffice,
I know Jesus is the reason above all reasons.

When the things I am doing for God is wearing me out,
I will remember one Person.

When no one or nothing seems to be able to explain what is happening to me,
I will trust Him.

I can only hang on to Him and cling to Him as tightly as i can. Cos i know i mean something to Him.

He has brought me so far, He will bring me further.
But even if not, i will love Him becos He is God and He died for me.

When all else fails and fades away, when my heart is broken and faith is empty, I will love my God and know that He will save.

Children Church

2007-09-19T10:25:00.000+08:00

Was jus thinking why i wanted in my heart to help out at Children Church.
I went back to the times when i was in kindergarten.. hhahah
ok When i was a child.. I attended a christian kindergarten.

Everyday before i have my lunch, i say grace.
Well as you can guess, i still remembered hw i said grace during that time.
It was a magical moment when all of us quietened down n said, " Thank you Jesus for the food and drink... the rest i cannot really remember. But that became my grace. Thank You Jesus.

When i had my birthday, my mother will bring a huge cake to school.
My teacher will set it on a table in front of the whole class. I be in front and the class will celebrate my birthday. I nv had a celebration again till i came to church.
And i remembered the simple celebration in school because it was special.

It was Jurong Calvary Kindergarten and i prob will nv forget tt place and tt classroom.

I went to sunday school.. there they told us stories.. and there was a old dusty library where they kept bibles and not much else..i read my first bible there...

Once i missed my bus which was gg to bring me back home from sunday school, 2 teachers who drove past me stopped their car and sent me home. And i told my mother the bus auntie forgot about me. But it was alright. It was one of my first rides in a car!!

Hahaha.. those were e memories from so long ago.. but it was in God's plan that when i went to CCH, it felt natural... like gg back to so long ago.

The services in CCH are awesome. The prescence of God there is strong beyond anything i could imagine before that. I could feel Him everytime i step into the audi so much so i became afraid sometimes. And those messages the teachers preach to the children, i always listened till i cry.

I mean i thought tt would nv happen. Those messages were for kids. But i teared. Cos in those simple words, God was so real.
Those children i know will come to Christ, if not while they are young then when they are like me... Man i hate those damn bombastic words and fanciful theory that some people like to use.
They are wearisome to the core of my spirit. I will always think cut the bullshit man and jus get to the point.

Jesus loves you, u sure that is shallow?
That is e deepest thing that we should know.
He just went to the cross and died for you because He loves you.

So after that i went to children church to help out, could nv get into drama ministry no matter hw i tried... then after that i went helping out at CCH again and again until yup, i am now in it.

Hi KIDS, Teacher Yuan Xing is here!!
haha.. Grrrr....

Different

2007-09-18T11:24:00.000+08:00

I found out one thing that life being a Christian really is very different than if u are jus a non believer.

The things u r happy about are different.
The things u r not happy about are different.
Things u r thinking about r different.

gotta start writing some narratives instead of listing down general meanings..
haha.. its harder..
gotta take some time..
next time maybe

Relationships

2007-09-17T22:29:00.000+08:00

There are a few things which can stun spiritual growth.
Things like not praying, wilfully sinning against the Word of God, not being open and disciplable, nt reading the Bible daily.

I believe the same things will stun the relationship between people.
Things like nt communicating, wilfully making use of other people and doing things that e person dun like, nt being open about issues and such..

Very soon, there be nothing left.
Death will creep in..
Scarry

Well, i wanna blog quite often this month..

2007-09-16T23:06:00.001+08:00

ok.. i've got decisions to make.
Lotsa things to think about.
Lotsa asking and praying to do

Heard my CCH leaders talked about personal development.
How that it could help us give more to serving God in the long run.
It would mean some changes to life as i know it now.
Worth thinking about..
but i think i should start with my guit first.

Secondly, another CCH leader talked about purposes of every relationship of our life.
Very true also.. so we gotta be clear about that in our most important relationships, lest we sin against it or let it run aground.

I asked her to say more cos the conversation was cut short but she said next week.
hmm i wonder if i can afford to let it drag till nxt week. I gotta make some moves.

On the question of faith, on how we confront the mountains of our life and encourage others to do so.. Sometimes we offend people when we challenge them to do difficult things.
And sometimes we back off..
I suggest in the natural we can and should let off here and there sometimes.
But in the spirit, NO!!!
In the spirit we press on..
Because we have to suffer another's displeasure to move them on.
We can afford to lose their liking, their services to us, the happiness of a stormless friendship.
The question is the timing.

On matters which seems beyond our reach, we pray.
tt God gives an opening and we take it by storm.

Finally, God gave the call and we got to be dilligent in wearing the mantle.
We can grow ourselves and grow people.

so God will provide, cos if He doesn't i will stall..
so Jesus.. let it flow...
Let me be tied to You forever..

I think something inside me died today.

2007-09-16T00:52:00.000+08:00

Hey Dun believe tt you r nt important to me.
You r nt a replacement for anybody.
The place u occupy is unique and nv was occupied by any other.
If there was another who came close, it died.
Dun jus listen to what people say.
Check it out for yourself Truth.
Have Faith, dun listen to those who nv been there before.
Ask those who's been there before.
Would you believe me if i told you what happens in a girl school?

So Know this.
You r important.. whoever is reading.

Because if u think tt u r nt important, u will treat other people tt way too.
As unimportant.

But You r important, more important than u ever think u r.
Jus think about the impact u make with one expression, one simple act of kindness and encouragement. Or even jus talking about which bus service gets you home faster, or making funny noises about nt getting your calls answered.

So watch what u say and think, cos i think something died inside of me today.
Love... protect... patient... gentle... humble... endures... never fails...

Love, Pursuit and Power

2007-09-05T12:46:00.000+08:00

Was in lecture the other day, it was a fluids mechanics lecture.
Was gg to fall into a trance when i heard the lecturer said these words, "Where is the source of the actual power?"

Yeah, yeah.. Prof where is the source of the actual power?
If I want it, then i will have to go the source to draw the power.
My handphone loves the charger, my fan seeks the power socket.
How about me?

One thing i found out about love.. it takes a solid foundation and encouraging words.
Personally, i find encouraging words spoken at the wrong timings totally disgusting.
So speaking encouraging words also got timing one.. and the type of words we choose is important too. Then finally is your relationship with the person. If u dun noe anything about this person, then dun talk like u knew the person for centuries le. Rather, Love ultimately rests on the foundation of understanding. U cannot genuinely love that which u do not understand.
tts why we go service.
tts why we go CG.
tts why we go BS.
Cos He whom u do not understand, u cannot genuinely love..
He whom u do not understand, u cannot communicate with.
Sustained Efforts are needed.
It is not to bring results.
It is a constant proof of our love and pursuit.
Wheni keep doing something regularly, it is not because i know it will bring results.
I can bring it to results but not necessary so..
I will plant the seed, I will water the seeds, But GOD gives the increase.
so it is not up to us to say its enough.
Its up to the wisdom of God to tell us when to stop.
By the way, what applies to God applies to people too.
Dun u love people to praise, worship and talk about what u doing.. haha...

ok... long complicated entry of my thoughts.
If u know me, u know what i talking about.

A Verse

2007-08-29T11:44:00.000+08:00

"In the last days, God says,
I will pour My Spirit on ALL people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your young men will see visions,
your old man will dream dreams.
Even on my servants, both men and women,
I will pour out my Spirit in those days,
and they will prophesy.
I will show wonders in the heaven above
and signs on the earth below,
Blood and Fire and Billows of Smoke.
The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood
before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord.
And everyone who calls
on the name of the Lord will be saved."
The end of the quote in Acts.
_____________________

However, Joel did not end there.
He continues,
For on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem
there will be deliverance,
as the LORD has said,
among the SURVIVORS
whom the LORD CALLS.

The first part is a straight lift from Acts.
Spoken by Peter. Originally from Joel.
In the midst of the Blood and Fire and Billows of Smoke, the young men will see visions, the old men their dreams and many will prophesy.
God will work in the midst of Blood and Fire and Billows of Smoke.
It speaks of WAR if u understand blood and fire and billows of smoke.

The second part speaks of the Survivors,
whom the LORD calls.

It is like the reading of the day, old verse, read it a million times, just that my eyes widened at the different parts.

About Our FIrst Occupation

2007-08-24T01:10:00.000+08:00

This story is from a scene from the movie, 300.

King of Sparta met the Commander of another Greek State on the high mountains with a weak breeze blowing.

The Other Commander brought thousands of soldiers to resist the army of persian King Xerxes while King of Sparta brought only 300(as the title suggests).

The Other Commander spoke to King of Sparta with some contempt, stating that he expects the strongest military state in Greece to contribute more Soldiers in the combined Greek Army.

King of Sparta responded coolly.

He asked the soldier on the other side what his occupation was. "Farmer" came the reply. He asked another. "Sculptor" came the reply.

Now the point was made.

The other Greek armies were made of citizens like the SAF but the Spartans were different. The first calling of every male is to be a Soldier. There were a total of 20 000 males in the city state of Sparta and all of them were trained as Soldiers. The city's economy was supported by 200 000 slaves.

It caused me to ask myself the question, " What is MY Occupation?"
The textbook answer was of course, "Full time Christian, Part time Student."

Then I asked myself, "What then is the first calling of a Christian?"
It became obvious to me that my first calling was to Christ, Prayers and Obeying His words. (which means i have to read them)

So the most simple things were the most important.
Because Nothing in a Christian is built other than being built upon these 2 pillars. Everything else is secondary.

But on what foundations do we sit?

Jesus is a brother, a friend, a Lord.
One day, He will cause us to account to all aspects of our relationship with Him.

How many moments do I wanna miss with God?
How much good quality time do i wanna miss with Him?
How many of His exciting blessings do i wanna miss?
How many times do i wanna defy His will for me?

I wanna trust in God all my life.
Cos He is the strength of my heart and the Source of my faith.

My first Occupation is to be a Christian.
A Christian Heart, Brain and Life.
I pray when i go see my spiritual muscles, it is an 8-pack like the Spartan Soldiers... hahaha... Big Biceps and Scary Triceps. Strong Legs which can run to the Ends of this Earth..
Remember Jesus..

School

2007-08-21T06:30:00.000+08:00

Hi Uni Students, School started..

Not news anymore..
Lots of work to do.
Preparation for everything.
So do rem to amuse urself from time to time with the things u love to do.
Like blog more?

Exams in 12 weeks time.. so encouraging..

so yup... i am gg to read and go on some music now.
come some of the MUSIC!!!!

Thanksgiving

2007-08-21T06:12:00.000+08:00

This is a passage from the Bible.

Here was King David after God through Nathan the prophet revealed to David that He shall establish his house and kingdom forever.

It was probably at this point in time that King David knew that he is going to be his Lord's earthly great grandfather.

He gave thanks to God.

2 Samuel 7

v18 Then King David went in and sat before the LORD; and he said: " who am I, O LORD GOD? And what is my house, that You have brought me so far?

v19 "And yet this was a small thing in Your sight, O LORD GOD; and You have also spoken of Your servant's house for a great while to come. Is this the manner of man, O LORD GOD?

David was saying how little our circumstances meant to God. God makes the best out of everyone of us. Yet in our own eyes, more than others. He has wired us such that the degree and type of our desires varies. There is a different balance point for all of us. So He actually knows how to treat each and ever individual well in a highly specific way. Err, for example, the more money u earn, the more work u have to put in... so He knows when you have come to breaking point and earned the most u could have at that point in time. Very technical example. Errrr yeah, i know its not very clear.. but i hope u roughly get the idea.

Now the word is specific.

so yup... God is good all the time. If everything else is a blur... hahaha..

An old part of me is coming back..

2007-08-12T00:13:00.000+08:00

Jus came back from CCH dicipleship mtg by Lynn...
Was on the way back from expo in Xiwei's car when I heard Susan say she got 6 new kids come to church this week...

i mean.. Praise the Lord for those 6 kids.. but why not my group..
i hate to lose.. i hate to not be leading the pack.. n e fact that her group was Esther's din help..
ROAR....

The part of me with the fighting spirit came out man and i am so jealous.. i am going mad.. n i am gg to do something about tt.. i am gg to beat that... let her start the race i alr nt very happy le.. Arrrrrghhh

I need to have a pioneering spirit.. she having exams somemore.. and she is so young.. And obviously she did something right and 6 kids in 2 days is simply supernatural..

Something in me is bursting man.. and today jus kanna dua by my friend.

I pray i wake up every morning with this frustration and that it gets stronger and stronger.. Remember the humiliation... by someone younger, more busy and more faith..

Arrrrrrghhhh....!!!!! God!!!!
I am burning.. I know You have the way.. I jus wanna know how You want us to do it..

My soul cannot rest... its that kind of feeling tt drives u crazy..

Jus Talked to a Very Weird Person

2007-08-08T08:08:00.000+08:00

Hi Everyone, as i stated in the title, i jus, hours ago, spoke to a Very Weird Person... A person who thinks that a relationship with God and His Anointing can replace character... A person who is so good with his words.

A person who reads about the great preachers of the world and wants to be like them. But even great generals started with learning how to fire his weapon, reload it, take care of it, clean it, oiling it..

Not that i dun have faith and i dun want to be a great person, but VWP, I truly hope u be a super great person one day...and pls go find urself a GF to fire ur theories at la...

Taking some time to blog here.

2007-08-03T11:28:00.000+08:00

Taking some time to blog here.
Cos its been a long time since i blog and i jus wanna keep it up and maintain this blog.

Its been a few days since deliverance service with Pst Mike. It was truly a new experience although it is nt my first deliverance service. Its my first time so close to the action. Learnt a bit more about spirits. But the keyword is "so close". The next time the deliverance services come along, i pray i be in the thick of the action. Was helping Ken get tissue and plastic bags.. One after another.. seeing people delivered left right centre..

Then after that was tuition after tuition again. gg to school to get notes and preparing to start school. And meeting people. or getting people to meet people.. haha..

And FOP is tonight. I think that the best part would be the sharing of the Word. Cos Pst Phil is comin to preach. He imparts faith.Faith that if u keep it and fuel it with wisdom will bear fruits in every aspect of ur life, esp in ur R/S with God..

Finally, And the worst part will be trying to get home. For those who know me, u will know why.. Home is so hard to reach.. haha.. If i had money, i will buy 4 cars, a van and a few handsome and relational Christian bodyguards who can drive. it be worth the money.. haha. Dun noe if i will get chewed for this.. haha.

Right, gg out right nw to City Hall to meet a long lost friend.. nxt week school starts.. great..

Blogging at 1142 on Tuesday

2007-07-24T23:38:00.000+08:00

Going to record my full week here...
The most fully packed week i think for ages...
Friday was the start of it all..
BS FT2 lesson 7 given by Ken to me and Meng at 11a.m.
Badminton and gym with Tsoon Liang from 2 till 4 plus in the afternoon
Was running all over the court trying to hit the shuttlecock.
Tuition from 6 till 7.30pm with my dear Lionel... He is by far my most inquisitive student and the best i have ever taught.. my dear neighbour.
Visitation for about an hour or so with Teacher Esther and oh ya a little nap before tt which caused me to run late for visitation.
Dinner at 9.20 before appearing at RiverWalk to meet Mr Suanh Pi from faraway Burma..

A simple man he was and very cheerful, though his pronounciation of English is slightly different from ours. Found out he like watching cable TV though.. He is gg to join us for CG on friday!! Heard he is gg to malaysia to visit his uncle and aunt next week though. Most prob he is going to come back cos he already got job offer from a construction company. Says he is going to treat me when he starts working. Well i told him i am waiting earnestly. Offering to treat Yuan Xing to dinner.. Wrong Choice... Muahahaha!!!

Then it was saturday.. 8.50 arrived in JW church for CCH, served till 4 with many interesting events in between. Love serving nowadays, very different from earlier days.. Pst Eileen actually noticed me in service (for the worng reasons) while conducting svc and spoke to me at the end of the day at Expo.

U cannot believe how sharp she can be in spotting the mistakes i made. I was so far away and this is what she said.. " You gotta be more gentle with the kids, they are after all jus children, dun be too rough with them, ok?" Oh my, i almost fainted..
I am hearing some laughs now.. hahaha...

Children Church Service was awesome though.. We are on a series with the title of “ Putting God First”. A series that I think even people in main services need.
We sang some old songs in service and I wept.

The song went tis way, “ though none is with me, I still will follow”
The purpose was to tell the kids, “hey dun jus come to church becos of friends, friends come u come, friends dun come u also dun come… Church is about God”

To me though, I felt a different way. I felt God’s presence and His love jus pour down on me.. and I wept…Truly love covers a multitude of sins.. God’s love is a cover over my life.

Although we keep preaching and coming against cheap grace.. but as Christians, u cannot accomplish much without knowing the extent of God’s grace in our lives.
The forgiveness that we do not deserve, the favour we receive which is totally not because we are better than others.. and many many more.. I feel humble people are those who also know the extent of God’s grace in their lives, so they know that it is not their strength which brought them to where they are. It is jus because God loves and He gives.

That is why I cannot stand it when people start saying that backslidden people cannot come back anymore quoting Hebrews 10:26. He spoke like he nv experienced God’s grace… haiz.. talking about a person’s sister somemore and the person was right in front of him… think he needed some grace there and then.. a lot of people who are still in church stayed because God spent so much effort holding us back when we feel like backsliding.. when we thought we are beyond hope, when I thought to myelf, “this time sure die”.. He upholds us and exalts us way above who we are when He reveals to us what we might accomplish for him, our worth in His eyes… Jus feel that the reason that I stayed in church for the short past 3 years is not because I am so loyal and good and strong. It is because God loved me.. I dun noe how to put it… u gotta find out for yourself the depth of His love.. and keep reminding ourselves about it. I know I am going to find out that it is much deeper than what I thought..

yup then after that, service at Expo with Pst Kong preaching about prayers and quiet time and fasting. and also about engaging in the understanding when speaking in tongues.. interesting.. Gotta pray more, and jus soak in the presence of God. yea..

Then after that in discipleship session with Lynn till around 2130
Then stayed back to wait for the SWOT people to end class.
Was sitting outside conference room comfortably with Tracy and talking when Pst Eileen walked by, I greeted her and there she spoke to me..
yea.. thank God i waited.. cos if not, how would i have a chance for Pst to talk to me.. haha.. ok i am a bit ermmm... haha...

Then went to BK with Susan, Tracy, David, Yuncui and several SWOT people at T2. Saw Susan sprayed ketchup on Tracy.. and herself.. lol. And she sharing her life story in BK. Till we caught the last train home.

Sunday met Suanh Pi and Jan and went to service together.
Then off to fellowship at PS, yet again.. ate at Yoshinoya and then jalan jalan till 4. The rest went home and i met Jan for his newspaper interview with Zaobao. Was so stoned by then... then went for Dinner at MFM and then jalan jalan a bit.. met Min Min, Dennis's friend who came for NUS amazing race and my CCH friend, Alex.. then went home and reached around 9pm, managed to catch the last part of National Treasure and then dinner again.

bathed and slept finally.
Sweet sleep for hours.... then Monday got even better. Went to Chinatown to meet cousin who came from China with her husband. I din even know she existed b4 Monday... lol

Went tuition after tuition after tuition after that and was very dead beat. Definitely gg to let go of some when school reopens.. 7 cores and an elective... God pls help me.. but $$ is impt too.. ok.. studies is impt, way more impt..

Tue was great, jus finished making a flyer for the children's outreach.
The first Flyer in my life... a truly heroic attempt i felt it was...
Hope the children are gonna love it.. haha.. and bring lotsa friends..

Had some help though, from more tech savvy friends.
Had been looking for pictures all over the internet to paste on my flyer.
Couldn't find any so I engaged Yuna's help.
She produced an outstanding draft and i nearly went down to NP to look for her to help me draw on the flyer..
Din happen eventually cos my more tech savvy friend found good pics.
Thank God for helpful friends...

From this few days’ experience, I know I need 3 things.. Higher Capacity, Helpful and Capable Friends and God’s Wisdom… Ok.. very long entry le.. time to stop.. share more next time..

Death, Burial, Resurrection..

2007-07-17T11:02:00.000+08:00

We all know the story.. of Jesus hanging on a cross and dying for us. And the sunday when He rose from the dead and the victory was won for us.

I know there is another side of the story.
It is about the Father watching Jesus hanging on the cross.
God Almighty Himself, He who formed the heavens and the earth..
watching His Son plead to Him in prayers and suffering on the cross..
and would do nothing.

The pain of the Father watching His Child.
The One least deserved to die... There is entirely no justice in this.
God dying for the sins the people He created committed..

So when God said He would even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert, I believed it because He paid a price so great.
We will not die and we will live. And though there is a desert, plants will grow and flourish. God has shown me so many times He is a God who holds the keys to our hearts and our destinies...

Probably one day God will show me what the Holy Spirit was doing at that time..:-)

Happiness is...

2007-07-17T10:00:00.000+08:00

Hi..to who ever is reading this.. I am writing this on blissful morning listening to instrumental music in the background and reading about happiness... On the 17th of July.

Haha.. sounds peaceful right..

On my lap is a book written by Dr A R Bernard, Happiness is..
There is a total of 30 passages, one for every day of the month.

So I came to Day 17 today.. and the page wrote.. Happiness is... Learning not to judge others..

The verse was one we are all so familiar with.
Do not judge, and you will not be judged.
Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.
Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

We can help to look out for one another but we have absolutely no ability to judge the way God judges. God knows everything and we don't.

The person we need to prosecute and judge everyday of our lives is ourselves. For probably a few minutes everyday..

Then we refrain from doing it to others. Its supposed to make u happier.
Ok.. thats it for today..

On a brighter note.

2007-07-07T01:05:00.000+08:00

Well, some happy stuff.. i won a movie voucher in zone meeting, realised its so fun to win, even in stuff like zone meeting games. And yeah I am gg to watch Harry Potter. hahaahaa... yay!!

Anyone interested to watch Harry Potter too?

My God can do all things

2007-07-07T00:20:00.000+08:00

The lives we lead is a reflection of our spiritual journey in Christ.
Our lives, especially our private lives, has to be well led.
God uses those who faces up to painful failures in their personal lives, who confront it and become conquerors. Think Jacob, Moses...
This is especially important to those seeking to enter public ministry, esp those who labour in the Word and prayer, of which the latter should precede.

Compare Pst Kong's words and his life.
His life has great progress, he has so much to share with the congregation.
His sermons has great power.

Lets bring it down to a lower level.
To those who desire to be Shepherds, Teachers of the Word or the current In-Thing which is marketplace ministry, character and its integrity has to be number 1 priority. To last through all adversity and stay true to Jesus.

Because as a person progresses in life, personal weaknesses and inadequacies become painfully obvious, even small ones.. You got to suck in all your pride and deal with the issues in life and confront it, no matter what smart noble excuses you gave yourself in the past. Dun siam, no matter what that is. U may think siam better, dun embarrass ourselves.. but think.. better now than later.. when u wanna confront it? when u r already a senior in school? a father? stepped into a workplace? or even worse, in public ministry? (Well, i do really wanna siam contact lenses, but that is another story)

The true question is whether you want to be a powerful Christian or not.
For true power to flow through you by the Spirit and birth forth true fruits, you gotta be more than jus surviving. Conception. Pregnancy, Birth... Only a healthy and attractive woman give birth to healthy strong babies. When you are attractive to the Holy Spirit, He will become intimate with you. Conception. Without this start, nothing is really very fantastic.. How many of us know tt a lady gotta prep herself real well to attract a very good husband?

More so when u are trying to draw near to God..
If not He will love u from a distance, fine.. things will work out jus fine.
But is that all u want?
Or do u want to hold Him tight and get real close? Know Him and know the people He loves to draw near to.

The strength of our personal lives is directly related to our level of anointing. The sensitivity we have to the Voice of the Spirit, our fruitfulness. Our ability to draw near to a place of intimacy with God. Treasure every time you go to service, CG, prayer meetings... and for that matter, go to school, go work, go meet friends, go play, go fellowship, go courses... I admit I often forget to treasure them... esp the "secular ones"..

God, You can do all things...
My flesh and my heart and my plans they fail...
but You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Calling to Ministry

2007-06-29T01:13:00.000+08:00

It was on Tuesday when I went out with my Children Church friends.
I was sitting at the table where there were 6 of us. Gotta learn a bit more about the people in my CCH zone.

As the conversation continued, i discovered i was sitting with a group of conquerors. I felt like the woman in 2 Kings whose son the prophet promised is dead..haha.. if u know what i mean..It is well. I said to myself.

These are people who have either realised their calling in ministry or on the verge of doing so.

They have ran the race and fought the good fight of faith and won the temporary crown and come into a temporary rest. These are 5 people who know where they are going and what they are doing already..

I envy these people..I know I want to be where these people are.
Fighting the battle with people of the same vision standing beside them.
It is bliss...

God I cling on to the words I've heard. I know it is not an illusion. Soon those words will not be things i put in my heart but a life lived out.. and expended..

There is something else that day, but I will leave it to another day to tell the story..

It is well

2007-06-27T23:32:00.001+08:00

ThanK You....

God Help Me..(rewritten)

2007-06-27T01:03:00.000+08:00

Recently many things have happened.
Many changes and many hindrances
Many old challenges resurfacing in my life...
My heart and my flesh, they fail..
At this stage in my Christian life, i can ill afford such delays.
God Pls help me..

ICT ---- 11 June - 18 June

2007-06-21T00:34:00.000+08:00

Hi to the readers of my blog.
So touched to hav u leave comments on my blog. thank you:-)
and Kgoon too for putting up a link on his blog..

I jus came back from ICT. Went back to try to be a scout agn.
My fitness is a far cry from last year. Flopped IPPT but outfield went well.

This ICT is really like a Sabbath.
A time to rest really. It was so refreshing.
God spoke to me about many things. Abt Courage.
He spoke about how we Christians can b so courageous cos of a God who will protect us.
tt Courage is really the key to grow up..
Thot abt it and discovered how every breakthru required so much courage and assurance from God.
It is the time of being set free from how others think about you and the many seemingly impt things u do which r actually not impt.

Recently some people i hav been reaching out to showed signs of health in spirituality.
that led me to realise the most impt thing i am doing in my life.
I thank God for prospering this area of my life, to give the increase where i sown..
it was really fruitless at first when i reached out to people tt others have alr given up on..
when others and even myself tell me that it is really a waste of time.
True enough, it was so long so long b4 i see the health signs i am seeing right now.

I felt so happy.. God this is really what i wanna do.
The impossible, the foolish things to this world with You and Your Voice...

The Greatest Lover of all Times.

2007-06-05T22:09:00.000+08:00

Well, the story starts with God loves you and He loves u too much to leave you the same way u came to Him.

Well, the secod part is where most people freak out.
Not so, read on. Firstly God is not a dumb Father although a lot of people react to Him as though He is.

He wants you to receive new things so He says b4 He does it, He will give you warning first. (Isaiah) Can u imagine that?

Now, for a guy to accept new things, he needs to be humble.
See, the old ways have worked for him so many times that he jus dun noe what else to do.
The guy has become so good at it. Change is tough. Pride hinders. The guy rejects change initially.

Tough things always needs a little sweetening.
Thats where love comes into the picture.
Now God knows that and keeps His temper down a bit.
So thats why we are all still quite alive and kicking.

He knows that immediate compliance is rare.
All of us needs a bit of chasing, pursuing.
He attempts to capture our attention and entice us with the desires of our hearts.

God is good, He knows what makes His creation ticks.
oh the effort He puts in to send e message across to one person is incredible.
He is the best Lover of all Times.

So thank God I have a God with a better opinion of myself than myself...

Emerge and POS

2007-05-31T04:03:00.000+08:00

Emerge is in a few hour's time.
And for the first time in my life, I am going to perform on stage in church.
Amazing..

So those from NTU, pls cheer ok? if only to let those N'US people know we r alive!!

It is my first year joining the Parade of Schools. Met a lot of harvesters and jus observing their reactions to situations caused me to learn some things about being a Christian.

Jus had my final rehearsal until 1030pm jus now.
I remembered something Sis Dorcas said during debrief, " POS is not an end in itself, but a means to a campus revival" I mean it sounds so simple you will find it a cliche. But thats the difference between Christians doing cheerleading and the world doing it right? Got to be more to it than bonding together right? i mean the magnitude of fellowship is like... errr like enough to go fight WW2 lor..

Campus Revival..
God, help us.

Emerge

2007-05-30T02:12:00.001+08:00

Emerge is here!!
Its the move of God of the year.
Do catch something out of it. And pray God open for you doorways for the vision He's placed in ur hearts.

Emerge is a start. Its gonna set a tone, a direction.
Set yourself to listen and to catch.
Cos all listen to the same message yet the outcomes are different.
The difference is those who set themselves apart to follow and those who jus wanna lead their own quiet stress free life.

Ps 127
"Unless the Lord builds the house,
they labour in vain who build it."

Pray till u feel the substance of the vision.
That is called faith.
Cos if you start something u nv finish cos u are too lazy to seek God for it, then u say, "aiya, emerge is all hype la, Vision is fake fake one la"

Come on man, even the chicken know it gotta sit on an egg for 21 days to hatch it k?
U will not see anything happen to the egg for 21 days. But in it is life. a new chicken k? jus a new chicken to put 2 chicken wings on your plate takes 21 days, k?

Can put in some effort for a vision from God?

My First Post

2007-05-30T01:49:00.000+08:00

Finally, Yuan Xing's very own blog.

Share with u a verse I read in 1 Peter 5:3-4
Peter wrote to shepherds of God's flock.

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock;
and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away."

Very clear instructions.
Christian leadership being described here.

Compare its meaning in leadership to Hebrews 4:15

"For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathise with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin."

The source of Jesus' compassion.
And the qualifications earned, tempted but not sinning in response to it. Strength of character.

The readings of the day. very short. hope there was something to think about for a few mins.